| Warm Fuzzies Authored by Kevin Weishaar - February 17, 2005 - 8:06 pm
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Playing the What did Reggie Eat game. After coming down with gastroenteritis speculation ran rampant (at least through my house) as to what he ate. I guessed that Northwest foods are not agreeing with a giant from the Bayou, picturing geoducks and pho’ floating around. My roommate figured a lifetime of hotsauce and barbecue did him in. Can’t you just see him getting to Seattle and eating whole salmon like Heathcliffe and just leaving the head and bones?
The amount of times that Robert Swift must have been to a suit store. How many suits did you have coming out of High School? Maybe one hand me down designated for funerals and weddings. Also, my guess is you weren’t 7’1 in high school. As a victim of the fabricated NBA injury he has to be up to like 28 suits right now. Does he go in before every road trip or did he try and get a deal on 82 of em’?
My favorite moment, possibly in sideline sports history. At the close of the third quarter in the Warriors game the buzzer sounded as a desperation shot sailed out of bounds. While music played and the team returned to the bench, they were suddenly summoned back on to the court for an inbounds pass to kill the remaining .4 seconds. Flash to a camera shot of a frightened Squatch on stilts desperately trying to get off the court as quickly as his wooden, parachute pants covered legs could carry him. If a plastic mask could ever display concern and mouth oh sh** this was that moment.
The NBA pension plan that allows Craig Ehlo to have a job. His two best two sayings are “I totally agree with what you said Kevin” and “I don’t even know what to say about that Kevin.” Seriously, his two best calls are that he has nothing to say.
The Sonics were able to step right in and get Brian Davis after the Seahawks fired him to become the ugliest sideline reporter since Leslie Visser.
1) When he broke it to Vladamir Radmanavic that Kevin Calabro has been calling him Broadway for his resemblance to Joe Namath and the odd moment that followed when Vlady had no idea who he was talking about and Brian Davis said he had pictures in his car. What?
2) When he closed an interview in the first game with Assistant Coach Bob Weis by slapping him on the butt and saying “Go motivate the team” I think this is why we’ve had the famed Dean Damapolous for all subsequent halftime interviews.
3) Following the Sacramento game he asked Flip where he got his shoes. In typical Flip fashion he said, “Shout out to Adidas. Good lookin.*” And in his best white guy voice, Brian responded, “They sure are good looking!”
Our participation in the adopt an And 1 player program with Flip to my Lou. As soon as he comes in games he completely abandons the pick and roll, starts throwing up shots like he’s Kobe in a bad mood, and makes Ray Allen have a why did you just throw up in my range rover face. To top off the hilarity of his disgruntled lack of minutes he is our All Star representative on the ballot with Ray and Ra.
My beliefs were confirmed in a recent Sonics All Access. Which of course, is the feel good, behind the scenes show that lets you know what kind of Fruity Pebbles Mateen Cleaves eats and how often Luke Ridnour’s mailman watches games. While in Orlando, Captain Ray (much like the pirate movie starring Martin Short and Kurt Russell in an eye patch) took the team to Universal Studios. As the team is off riding the Incredible Hulk and eating Churros Flip was playing Pop A Shot by himself. I can’t make this stuff up.
Big Men with Bad Moves. The first time we played the Spurs provided my favorite Jerome James moment. In a half court offense Luke fed the ball around to JJ who proceeded to back down Tim Duncan and float a fade away over his outstretched hand leading my roommate Rock to shout, “That was the play! We just ran a play to get the ball to Jerome James in the post over Tim Duncan.” Followed by much head shaking and leading me to picture the Sonics coaching staff sitting around the That 70’s Show bong before the season. Where, after Nate suggests it the camera pans to Dwayne Casey who says, “Sure, why don’t we just put Danny Fortson man-to-man on Shaq when he comes into town,” then to Dean Snuffalupaguss “Or beat LA via a Kobe-Ray shootout.” Seriously, is this season really happening?
*For all those confused (Grandma) he meant, “Good looking out” or translated as, “I truly appreciate your sincere thought in providing me with such fantastic footwear.”
(Please share any moments I forgot at ChronicSonics@gmail.com)
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